Oh nice. I was sure you have been writing poems for long years.
Oh nice. I was sure you have been writing poems for long years.
Roland would have understood.
M-O-O-N, I am going to write a poem about the moon.
Yours is wonderful by the way....I love the baby I'm no
astronaut line, I think its expired !!
The answer is within
all matter is energy, all energy is GOD
What I was trying to say is that these poems use "I" as spoken between themselves and another person. It was the contrast of your first stanza with the introspection of the following ones that I was talking about.
Chris, I think you brought all of that across, I'm just saying that it might be a little confusing to your reader, that's all. You have great images here, but sometimes the efficacy of a good image can be lost if its isn't executed simplistically. I'm very familiar with My Last Duchess and Fra Lippo Lippi, but its been a awhile since I read Andrea Del Sarto, so I'm not going to say anything in regards to that. Childe Roland is introspective and a Dramatic Monologue, but I think one of the reasons that the introspection works is because Roland doesn't really deal with many other characters within the poem (basically only the Hoary Cripple of the first stanza). The rest of the poem is Roland coming to grips with the nighmarish landscape that he is surrounded by, and this is consistent. Its the inconsistency of "you" and then "I" that was throwing me off in your poem. Its just my opinion Chris, and I'm trying to be delicate about phrasing it.
All I can think of when I see this thread title is M-o-o-n that spells Tom Cullen...
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