Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? A: Because his pecker is on his head!

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl and a rooster? A: A cock that stays up all night long.

Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? A: He can't find the zipper!

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Q: What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? A: He smashed his his nose.

Q: What happens when you make a penis out of Legos? A: You get COCK BLOCKed.

Q: How many knees do men really have? A: 3.... right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.

Q: What do you call a woman who loves small dicks? A: Hopefully your girlfriend.

Q: What did the penis say to the vagina? A: Don't make me cum in there.

Q: What do you call an endowed puppet? A: Well strung.

Q: What do you call an erection when listening to hymns? A: an organ boner

Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter? A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand

Q: Why do men have a hole in their penis? A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

Q: What did the O say to the Q? A: "Dude, your dick's hanging out."

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a cock? A: The man.

Q: How could the redneck mom tell that her daughter was on her period? A: She could taste the blood on her son's dick!

Q: What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? A: Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.

Q: How many parrots can you fit down a man's pants? A: Depends on the length of the perch.

Q: Why do Justin Biebers male friends nickname him "Shotgun"? A: Give him a cock and he'll Blow!

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
Had a fight with a erection, this morning. I BEAT IT SINGLE HANDEDLY.

Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: a dicktator!

Q: What do you call a country where everyone is pissed? A: A urination.

Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker.

I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock But it's in his ass and belongs to Usher.

Q: Why does a penis have a hole in the end? A: So men can be open minded.

Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm bank say when clients are leaving? A: Thanks for coming!

Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common? A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!

Q: What do rich people drink when they are jerking off? A: A Fapacchino.

Q: What is the difference between a sin and shame? A: It's a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.

Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut? A: Dont talk to the guy in the middle, hes a dick.

Q: What happens when you beat off in the summer? A: You get heat-stroke.

Q: Why are black men penises bigger than white men? A: Because as kids white men had toys to play with!

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road? A: His dick was stuck in the chicken

Q: What do you ask a angry dick? A: Is someone messing with your head?

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? A: Beef strokin' off.

Q: What is a diaphragm? A: A trampoline for dickheads.

Q: What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A: A Terrorwrist

Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? A: Beat it we're closed.

Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip!

Q: What's another name for pickled bread? A: Dill-dough. Q: What do you call a guy who can swim without using his arms and legs? A: Clever dick.

Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common? A: Both contain a cockpit

Q: What do you call a sunburnt penis? A: Sunny D

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with A telephone pole? A: a 10 foot cock that wants to touch someone.

Girl "I wear heels bigger than your dick!" Guy: "I take shits fresher than your pussy."

Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q: What did the left nut said to the right nut? A: Look at the dude in the middle tryna look all hard.

Q: Where does a penis get its sports gear? A: Dicks sporting goods

Q: Do you know Myra? A: My right nut.

Q: What do you call a man with. Three legs? A: Tom (DICK) & harry

Q: What's the smartest thing to ever come out a woman's mouth? A: Einstein's cock...

Q: How do you bring a man back from the dead? A: You suck on his dick until he cums back.

Q: What do a Rubix cube and a cock have in common? A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q: What does a Bengal Tiger and a Two inch pecker have in common? A: You don't FUCK with them!

Q: Why do cats lick their weiner? A: Because they can't make a fist.

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego... A: "Is it in?"
Q: What do you call a jiggalo who says he can suck 25 cocks in an hour? A: A psychopath with a cocky attitude. Q: Where can one find a lot of dicks? A: In a Penistentiary. Q: Why did the young boy dip his penis repeatedly into the peanut butter? A: Because he wanted to be Peter Pan.

Q: What can a bird do that a man can't do? A: Eat with his pecker.
Q: What kind of fruit is good for sperm? A: Kumquat.

Q: Why did the battleship go through the car wash? A: Because it was full of sea men!

Q: Have you seen the kids movie about using the potty? A: It's called "How to Drain your Dragon"

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo." Q: What does 69 equal? A: A couple of mouths full.


I hope non cause any offence...